I Ain’t Sorry

And you will be betrayed by both by parents, brothers, and kinsfolk, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.   Luke 21:16

 

Betrayal is often said to come from those closest to us, rarely from strangers. We try to wrap our minds around how they could betray us.  I remember going through a trying time years before divorce was even mentioned by my ex. I needed answers on how someone could be so cruel and really not care. I remember having to get a procedure done for an illness. A procedure is scary to have to go through regardless. I remember my wasband saying he couldn’t take off one day from work to go with me. However, he went away a week later with his married mistress for his birthday. Luckily, God placed a beautiful friend in my life who took off and went with me.

These stories unfortunately, are very common and sad . A person can’t consider a basic human need even if they don’t love you like a wife , but claim to love you like a sister. Well dang, you wouldn’t take your sister to the hospital. There are some people who are who they are. Denial and desperation can blind us to who they really are and what we deserve.

A friend of mine broke her arm, her ex-husband dropped her off at the emergency room and kept going. Seriously, he wouldn’t answer his phone to pick her up. He only dropped her off because he wanted to keep the car, she had to call a relative. You begin to wonder how you got here and how they got like that, it doesn’t matter you are here so now what?

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Sorry, there are people who will never be sorry for what they have done to you! You won’t hear them call and say ” I’m sorry, for everything that I’ve done.” Sometimes you may get a sorry but it isn’t genuine. People that are a true narcissist or sociopath are not capable of empathy.

Years ago, my best friend was studying psychology in college and thought my wasband was a narcissist. I thought they were the ones out killing people, but not necessarily physically killing. They kill people emotionally, socially, and verbally. It all made sense when he told me he couldn’t feel what others felt, faux crying at his grandma’s funeral, his difference in his public and private persona, and a whole list of abnormalities. He fit the sociopath checklist to the letter. You may know someone like this and they may not exhibit all of the signs, but some of the traits.

Your girlfriends mean well, but he won’t regret or miss you. He may even blame you for everything, cursing you with is dying breath.  I think an insincere apology is worse than never hearing sorry. It’s feels like they are trying to insult your intelligence. I had to realize that was his problem and between him and God. You have to forgive them for yourself. Forgiveness is a process not just a word, it can take months or years. Everything in you wants to never-ever forgive them. Forgive them even if they aren’t sorry. They are enjoying their life and you should too.

I know it’s hard to move on if you have to deal with them after divorce or any relationship.  I found it’s not the place you’re in but the state your in. You will be okay, without a sorry. Sorry can’t buy time back, reverse damage, give you life, wake you up, feed you, or give you eternal life, so it’s nice but not necessary.  Remember, man will always disappoint you,but you can be sure of one thing, you are loved!

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